Tao of the bubba

Sometimes I get kind of freaked out about the whole having a baby thing. Will it be ok? Should I feel guilty about having blue cheese dressing on my salad?

I confess, I took a couple sips of justin's beer yesterday. Am I evil? Am I killing my baby? Sometimes the weight of these concerns causes me to get really depressed. And its not as easy as saying- avoid those things- Its more complex than that. People have been having kids forever and of course I want to be healthy, but where is the line.

I felt a little better today when a friend told me today that in the Tibetan book of the dead it says that when you are reincarnated you go into a room and see every couple in the world who is trying to conceive and you pick who your parents will be. So, the bubba picked us. It picked me and it picked justin. It wants to be in my womb, and not some paranoid freak's womb. It wants that blue cheese dressing.

Maybe its a stretch to say that it wants those couple of sips of Justin's beer. I'm not going to claim that it did. It could definitely have gotten drunk off those sips, especially considering that its only the size of a lemon. But I need to find a way to get out of feeling constantly guilty about these things. So, thinking that the bubba choose us and that it trusted us to make the right decisions to bring it into the world in a healthy way makes me feel a little bit more comfortable.

I honestly don't know how to ride the line between trying not to constantly feel paranoid and guilty while simultaneously avoiding justifying behavior that I kow is bad. Thinking that the bubba is an old soul that is trusting the decisions that I am making will help me to make better decisions during this crazy crazy time.